A Word of Encouragement (for Parents of Middle Schoolers) from Laura Williams

Hey guys, it’s Laura. :)

I have had some things on my heart that I have wanted to share as an encouragement with our friends who have children who are nearing Middle School age. I hope you feel loved and supported by Daniel and me as we are all in this together!

Both of our kids are officially out of Elementary School this year—6th and 8th grade. It’s a new season for us as parents of TWO Middle School kids, and in some ways I’m in a little bit of disbelief. I’m sure, if you are the parent of a middle schooler, you probably find yourself wondering just how this happened that your 6 year-old suddenly has their own taste in music, shoes, and brand of blue jeans! How did this happen so fast? But if we are honest, I think we all know that we didn’t arrive here overnight. As parents, we have the joy (and challenge!!!)  of walking our children through transitions into new stages of life—developmentally, physically, socially, spiritually—they are always changing and growing, and we are constantly adjusting and growing along with them. We make mistakes, learn and adjust, and pray. A. LOT. 

Our anchor is Jesus and His wisdom and grace through each day, week, and year. And when I forget this myself, and lean on my own understanding or feelings, I do not do well. We do not flourish. I can become angry, overwhelmed, fearful, and...it’s not good! But God :) God keeps us going. He forgives and restores and helps us back on the parenting journey of raising two now-young-adults by His grace.

I want to encourage those of you whose children are entering or nearing this Middle School age to keep parenting, watching, and caring for your child through this stage with the same attention you have maintained throughout their early years. They are growing up into young men and women who are in great need of parents who pay attention. They may act like they don’t want you around sometimes, and yes they need their personal space, but they do still need you in their life. Actively encouraging, disciplining, challenging, and laughing with them.

And they are so much fun, too! Moody, yes. Forgetful, yes. But, having middle schoolers is pretty amazing when they are at an age where you can laugh because their jokes are actually funny and not some random random nonsense words put together with a punchline that no-one but your four year old finds funny. (Remember those preschool days, when none of their jokes made any sense??? Help.) There is so much to enjoy about our kids at each stage, and I pray that we see this precious time as the gift that it is .I also pray that we continue taking our role as parents as seriously as we did when we had to carry them on our hip all the time. Because they still need us.

Here are 5 things that I want to encourage you (and myself!!!) to continue doing as we love and raise kids in Middle School:

1. Ask questions! Don’t assume they will come to you with a new word or topic they are hearing about for the first time. Ask specifically about pornography. Yes, it’s painful to even think your child may have seen or heard about something like this, but if you are not talking with them about these things in a safe and truthful space at home, they WILL hear about it from someone else at some point. You don’t need to over-share or ask all the time, but ask. Ask about language being used. Ask about bullying. Ask about their friends. This is not to be nosy and in their business but to let them know you are available and they can talk to you “Have you seen anything online or on a phone that seemed weird or inappropriate?” “Is there anything you want to ask me about that you’ve heard kids say but didn’t understand?” And be ready to have open conversations about subjects that seem awkward. Not everyday, but every so often, just ask them. We need our kids to feel safe talking to us and asking questions so we can answer with truth and wisdom! How to handle foul language. What to do when a friend wants to show you a YouTuber you don’t know. Why we should honor one another by not joking about sexual or crude topics. And how to show grace and kindness to others who don’t follow the same principles that we do.

2. Set clear BOUNDARIES: I heard an analogy about boundaries that has been helpful to me personally :-) When we go to a theme park and get on a roller coaster, the first thing we always do is push on the restraint, fiddle with the seatbelt, and make sure we are not going to fall out as soon as it starts going 100 miles an hour and whipping us upside down!We want to KNOW it’s not going anywhere. So we push and prod and  pull as hard as we can to know we are secure! It is the same with our kids and the boundaries we set for them. They want to test them. They want to pull and push to see if it will come apart. But ultimately a boundary provides security. This is particularly true with teens and tweens. Our kids know that we are “those parents.” And we are okay with that. Our rules and freedoms with technology are set and will not change just because everyone else is allowed to do things differently. Our 13 year old got an iPhone last Christmas which was his dream for years beforehand. :) He was the last of his friends to have access to his own phone, so he was thrilled to finally have freedom to play games, watch videos, and text friends without borrowing his parents’ phone all the time. But there are strict rules about how his phone should be used, where, and when. And these boundaries aren’t just for phone use. Our daughter doesn’t have her own phone yet, but she still likes to play on our iPad at home and has similar guidelines there as well. Same goes for not watching another friend’s videos without asking first. Letting us see and agree on what music they can listen to. Etc. And even when they’re annoyed (which seems like a lot of the time! 😬) we explain WHY those boundaries are there (an age appropriate explanation) and move on. The loving thing is not always what makes us happiest in the moment. Remember, they may push the boundaries you set, but boundaries help kids know they are secure. 

3. How we do TECHNOLOGY SAFETY: (disclaimer: we are not experts!!! But I wanted to share in case it might be helpful to see how another Christian family approaches the whole technology thing!) Phones/Internet:  We have the common parenting rule that we can check the phone at any time. Yes, this annoys your kid because reading someone’s texts is just embarrassing 🤪 but it’s a condition of having their own device, so. That’s that. We have filters protecting them from accidentally or intentionally seeing something online that could damage their heart. Yes, this means that lots of safe websites are filtered out sometimes too. We don’t allow our kids to google anything without permission, and we are usually close by with our own phone to look something up if the filter won’t let them view a page for some reason. YouTube: When it comes to Youtube,  we have specific YouTube channels that we feel are appropriate and no other videos or channels are allowed unless we give permission. Youtube is one area where I feel kids (& parents) have no idea how quickly a recommended video or ad can pop up even when what you’re looking for any be completely innocent. YouTube Kids is an app we used exclusively for a long time for this reason. We do allow our kids to watch regular YouTube, but it is extremely limited. Social Media: We do not allow our kids to use or view any social media at this age. Social media can be tricky because apps like Instagram are fun for sharing pictures and videos with friends, but the “search & recommended” feature on Instagram does not allow any content to be filtered and is filled with extremely sexual and inappropriate images and videos. There just isn’t a way to use the app without access to them. So, for us that means no instagram. Even seemingly safe apps like Pinterest are NOT filtered. We had one child unintentionally learn some extremely crude language because they were innocently scrolling on Pinterest for birthday decoration ideas. So, Pinterest is only allowed if either Daniel or I are looking with them. Where/When: Finally, We don’t allow phone use anywhere private. Up in a bedroom, at the house if we’re not home, etc. This is not because we expect our kids to search out harmful content but because Satan wants to take advantage of our kids and take them captive through curiousity, temptation, shame, and dishonesty. They don’t have to be in the same room with us, but we need to be able to walk in and out of the room and see what’s up any time.

4. FOR NOW. In parenting our kids, something that helps so much is our freedom to know which things are set in stone (respecting others, telling the truth) and which things are FOR NOW. (asking before each new YouTube video, no social media) It is freeing for us as parents and freeing for our children! They have seen us relax past rules as they’ve shown responsibility and trustworthiness. They have the hope of gaining more freedom because we have entrusted them with different privileges as they have gotten older and shown us they were responsible and trustworthy. When they demonstrate a lack in these areas, they lose freedoms. There is an important correlation between their ability to honor the guidelines we’ve put in place in order to expect more freedom as they get older.

5. Finally, Remember we are in a BATTLE! And our enemy is not our children, our spouse, that one kid we just can’t stand, or even our culture. I want to be on my knees fighting for my children in prayer as I know they have an adversary who is seeking to steal their joy, their purity, testimony, and their peace. We need to be mindful and watchful of the enemy’s tactics to distract us from this fact. Remember the armor of God and put on your shield of faith and arm yourself and your children with the Word of God as the enemy seeks to tempt each of us to not only sin but hide our struggles from each other. We need the prayer and encouragement of other parents who are in the same boat, on the same team, fighting the same fight...you get the idea. ;) We need to know we’re not alone!

There have been so many articles on parenting that it left me feeling exhausted and like a failure as a mother. Or like I’ve messed up so much and how I’ve handled a certain area that there’s no going back. OR that the sweet part of parenting is only when our kids are little! (Have you seen this major trend? A false way of thinking that causes us to mourn our kids entering into the older, equally special stages of life which are meant to be enjoyed! I may share more on that another time :) But those are lies from the enemy! We are always free in Christ to start each day fresh with him. And parenting is not one season, or three seasons, it is a life calling that God has given those of us with children. I hope that these thoughts can be an encouragement to you that we are for you! But more importantly, God is for you! He is giving us all we need for life and godliness (and parenting!!!) And the blessing of raising children was not simply the Play-Doh and fingerpainting days. For us, it is here, on the battlefield of Middle School. :-) And I pray for God’s faithfulness and strength to fill our hearts through the Holy Spirit as we walk this out together.

Praying for you!

A Word About Racism

An Article on Racism

There is so much being said and shared regarding how we can best love our neighbors, no matter what race, color, or background. This article by Reverend Billy Graham explains what God's heart (and by extension, our hearts) is for people of all races and how the Church can demonstrate His heart to the world around us.

Please take a moment to read and reflect on this article.

“Racial and ethnic hatred is a sin, and we need to label it as such. Jesus told his disciples to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39); and in reply to the question “Who is my neighbor?” he responded with a pointed parable about a good Samaritan, a member of a despised race (Luke 10:25-37).

Racism is a sin precisely because it keeps us from obeying God’s command to love our neighbor, and because it has its roots in pride and arrogance. Christians who harbor racism in their attitudes or actions are not following their Lord at this point, for Christ came to bring reconciliation—reconciliation between us and God, and reconciliation between each other. He came to accept us as we are, whoever we are, “from every tribe and language and people and nation” (Rev. 5:9).

Tragically, too often in the past evangelical Christians have turned a blind eye to racism or have been willing to stand aside while others take the lead in racial reconciliation, saying it was not our responsibility. (I admit I share in that blame.) As a result, many efforts toward reconciliation in America have lacked a Christian foundation and may not outlive the immediate circumstances that brought them into existence. Our consciences should be stirred to repentance by how far we have fallen short of what God asks us to be as his agents of reconciliation.

Racism is not only a social problem, therefore; because racism is a sin, it is also a moral and spiritual issue. Legal and social efforts to obliterate racism (or at least curb its more onerous effects) have a legitimate place. However, only the supernatural love of God can change our hearts in a lasting way and replace hatred and indifference with love and active compassion.

No other force exists besides the church that can bring people together week after week and deal with their deepest hurts and suspicions. Of all people, Christians should be the most active in reaching out to those of other races, instead of accepting the status quo of division and animosity.

The issues that face us are complex and enormous, and simply wishing they would go away will not solve them. I do not pretend to know the full answer. But let those of us who claim the name of Christ report of our past failures and, relying on the Holy Spirit, demonstrate to a weary and frightened world that Christ indeed “has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility … through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility” (Eph. 2:14-15).”
 

Dr. Billy Graham (Christianity Today, Oct. 4, 1993)

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A Conversation on Race

I recently talked with my friend, Pastor Rodney Wilkinson from Gospel Fellowship in Boynton Beach, FL about the topic of race in our culture today. I pray it brings you hope and encouragement in this time.

In all of our conversations about race and equality, let us make sure we are allowing God to speak into the situation and give us wisdom, clarity, and love.

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Let's Continue to Pray

"Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy." -Proverbs 31:8-9

We want our voices to be heard on behalf of the oppressed. May we open our mouths in their defense before the world around us and just as fervently, in prayer. We need a work of the Holy Spirit in our nation, so join us in praying for the following areas:

• For Spiritual transformation in our nation (Ephesians 2:12-19)

• Unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:1-6)

• Love for all people (Colossians 3:14)

• Protection (Psalm 91:11-13)

• Healing for the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3)

• Hope for tomorrow (Jeremiah 29:11)

• Guidance and help for Church leaders and those in authority (Psalm 91:1-2)

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“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” -John 13:34

Praying we can all learn to love one another with the same compassion, sacrifice, and mercy as Jesus.
Pastor Daniel

Waiting On His Return by Daniel Williams

Jesus Is Coming Back!

This truth is important to say, important to live by, and important to remind ourselves. The Bible talks a lot about the imminent return of Christ, so I think it makes sense that we should talk about it too!

It seems like bringing up the rapture of the church and eschatology can be a sour subject for many Jesus-followers. A lot of people seem confused by studying the end times and say there are just too many different views and positions about this subject. People tend to fight with maps, charts and news reports in hand, and it makes sense that a lot of people want to avoid the subject for that reason alone. It has become an issue of division rather than a subject that we study and discuss with love for one another. For that reason, we, as the people of God, seem to have shied away from talking about it. People have been arguing so much on a position for so long that we have forgotten the person: Jesus. The fact remains that  Jesus IS coming back, and this is awesome! This is something that we should be talking about! 

We just recently finished our study about the afterlife, the rapture, and the day of the Lord in our Fundamentals of the Faith series of 1 Thessalonians; and you get the sense that Paul wanted people to know and live in the reality of Jesus’ return. 

Paul wasn’t shy about teaching new believers about how Jesus would return and how He is going to establish His kingdom here on earth for all eternity. In fact, he mentions this truth in every chapter of the 1 Thessalonians (1 Thes 1:9-10; 2:19-20; 3:13; 4:17-18; 5:9-10). Paul wanted these new Christians established in the faith, so he addresses the doctrine of the rapture.

And Jesus said to them, “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast. -Matt 9:15

In ancient jewish times it was common for a man to betrothed himself to a woman and then leave for a time. Being betrothed was much more than our understanding of engagement. It was understood to be like being married without actually consummating the marriage. The husband would usually give the bride’s father a gift of money for the woman (to take care of her and show the family how much he values her), and then he would go and prepare a place for the couple to live for their marriage. He typically would come back as soon he was done, and this would be as soon as possible. He would come back for his bride in a celebratory surprise for the whole town to see and they would finally get married, consummate their marriage and live together as one in their new home together forever.  (see passages like Deuteronomy 22:23-24; Ex 22:16-17; Matt 1:18; 25:1-10) 

I mention this tradition because the Bible (and Jesus Himself) commonly used this picture of Christ and His followers as a bride and groom (Matt 9:15; 2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 19:6-10). And just like a groom back in the ancient world, Jesus has gone to the Father to prepare a place for us (Heaven), has given us the gift of His Spirit as we wait for His return, and is coming back for His bride (the Church). And He is excited about this!

“…as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.” -Isa 62:5b

Jesus is Coming Back for His Church! 

This is what is known as the doctrine of the rapture. The word “rapture" is not in the ancient Greek text, but comes from the Latin Vulgate, which translates the phrase “caught up” with the Latin word, “rapturus,” from which we get our English word, “rapture.” The idea of the rapture of the church where we will be caught up to be with Jesus is found in other passages as well like 1 Corinthians 15:51-52: “Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed.” 

The verb translated caught up in 1 Thessalonians 4:17 means “to seize, or to carry off by force.” 

David Guzik says about this text, “In the ancient Greek, the phrase to meet was used as a technical term to describe the official welcoming of honored guests” I love that idea that Jesus views us as His honored guests for all eternity and really wants us to be with Him: His Bride, the Church. Jesus said in Luke 12:8, “And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God.” Jesus isn’t ashamed of us and is proud to call us friends (John 15:15). He has gone to prepare a place for us, sealed us with His Spirit and promises to come back for us (John 14)

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am, you may be also. - John 14:3

So why hasn’t He come back yet? 

Well, God is not cruel—letting us suffer here on earth as He looks from heaven, rather, He has delayed because He is a God of love! Jesus is coming back because He radically loves His Church and this same love has caused a delay. In 1 Thessalonians 4:17 we see that Jesus WILL come back for His Church, but we need to trust that His timing is perfect. He hasn’t come back yet because wants as many people as possible to repent and turn to Him (2 Peter 3:9-10). And even through He hasn’t told us exactly when He is coming back, we can trust His Word. And He expects us to live in purity and expectancy for His return. 

“And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.” -1 John 3:3

No one knows when the rapture will take place so we must live in expectancy. This is good for us because we can tend to be complacent as Christians. One of the main reasons I believe God didn’t reveal to us when exactly the day He would come back was so that we would live for Him every day. God doesn’t just want us to say a prayer to have “fire insurance” from hell and forget about Him. Jesus wants a relationship with us and for us to worship Him as Lord. When we believe we can see Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, at any moment, it helps purify us (1 John 3:3). This reality helps us understand our priorities and how we are to live right now in light of eternity (Colossians 3:2-4; Psalm 90:10-12). 

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” -Ephesians 5:15-16

What a hope we have as believers in Jesus! And the Bible tells us this hope will not disappoint (Romans 5:5).  So, we should be ready for His return and live in light of this wonderful truth. Let’s live for Jesus every day telling people this wonderful news that there IS a God who loves us, has died for our sins, gives us His righteousness, and makes a way for us to be His honored guest in Heaven for all of eternity. The rapture is just one of the beautiful doctrines of the Bible that shows us the wonderful character of Jesus, so let’s receive His Word by faith and live accordingly. 

Jesus is coming back. Although many people in the media or even our friends and family may not be thinking about this or talking about this reality, we are to encouraged to apply it to our hearts. As we ponder the great love of Jesus and how this doctrine shows us more of His wonderful character, let us be encouraged and live believing that Jesus could come back today!

 “Therefore encourage one another with these words.” -1 Thessalonians 4:18